I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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