U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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