She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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