hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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