The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
