i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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