we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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