how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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