Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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