farters have to be the big spoon...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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