I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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