we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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