he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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