Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
