question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
