i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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