How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is it penis luge time yet?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
