even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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