Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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