omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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