what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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