Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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