you guys were way drunker than both of me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
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she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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