actually, I'm a sock model
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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