im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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