I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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