I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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