and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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