Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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