im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
