Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
