Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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