I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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