so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
