bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
