You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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