if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
