Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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