How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
