No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
