And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
