the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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