Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
