Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
