I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
