How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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