Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
