i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
