Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
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he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
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Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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