i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
