If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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