Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
