What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
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People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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