I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
