absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize