Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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