I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
