Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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