I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
