Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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