She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
