Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize