Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
