just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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